Okay, a lot of interesting things happened this week. I have relearned a good lesson. I took a job I didn’t want and felt unmotivated, pissed off, and exhausted. I was entering into the same old cycle of bullshit that I had been suffered through in previous jobs. I was promised advancement, promotion, and money and was told that it would be a great place to get a start in a new industry. Maybe true, maybe not. But the feeling was wrong. As soon as I started the training I knew I had made a mistake. All throughout the week I was searching desperately for new jobs, trying to find something, anything else. At the same time, at work, I was being sucked in. It was an easy gig, I told myself. All I had to do was deliver some beds and set them up. No big deal. But on top of that was the stress of the position. I had been promoted within the week. I would have to train for a lead tech position. This would require investing even more time. I told myself initially that I could use the position as a way to advance. I’d use the education benefits to go back to school. I quickly realized that wasn’t going to happen. I was struggling to keep writing already. If I added schoolwork on top of this I would most likely not get anything done. And I certainly wouldn’t have time to work out, which is the one thing that seems to keep my head working properly.
I could have handled all of this if the job had been worth it. But one week of training was enough to tell me that this job wasn’t for me. In the past, I would have kept going. It was the easy option. It offered the right pay for the time being. But as I know from past jobs, if I hate the position it isn’t going to last long. Learning a job requires effort, even more effort if you hate what you are doing. I remember when I took a cooking job at a fast-casual restaurant. Similar situation. I was told about all the great things that job would get me. I would get leadership skills. They would help me with my school schedule. But day one I realized it wasn’t working. I was tired all the time. Tired of the late nights and the relentless pace of the restaurant. While trying to sign up for classes again, I was challenged with leadership duties at the restaurant, managing a team of three other cooks. I was exhausted and hated the constant stress and the long hours, but I kept going because my friends had gotten me the job. I didn’t want to let them down. I was slipping up more and more though, arriving late and tired, forgetting aspects of my uniform at home. I was slow and made mistakes. Finally, the day came when I showed up to work, late yet again and realized I had forgotten my chef’s hat. It was the last straw. I quit right then and there, texting my friends and apologizing for letting them down. I had to work extra hard to secure another, better, job before the school year started.
Don’t let yourself fall into this cycle
Don’t do things for the wrong reasons. We all have to take crap jobs every now and then to make ends meet, but they should at least offer a measure of comfort and fun to your day. If you are going in every day hating your work then it is impossible to do your best. You are letting yourself and your coworkers down. Find something that fits. Even if it is a part-time job. Find something that you can do reasonably well that doesn’t sap your energy completely.
There are times when you have no choice but to work a job. And in these times, you have to make it fun. You have to find something in it that is interesting or useful. This takes effort. We don’t always have the luxury of choosing. If you need to work, you need to work. When you are at the job don’t fall into a negative headspace. Don’t moan and whine about how shitty your life is and how you could do so much better. It just makes the work suck even more. When you are at the job you tell yourself you love it. When you are at that job you tell yourself that you are learning and advancing and pride yourself on your resilience and hard work even if you are shoveling dog shit. Shovel that dog shit with the utmost pride. Shovel that dog shit with a sense of honor. Stand tall and smile and find in that work any kind of possible meaning. Tell yourself it is making you stronger. Tell yourself that it is teaching you resilience. Refuse to let it cow you. Refuse to let it humiliate you. And in the evening when your shift is over, you work like mad to find a different job. You work like mad to find something better. If you are in school, you use every damn opportunity to get the A grade and you don’t stop there. You network with your professors. You apply for every damn scholarship you can. You use any and all connections that can help you advance.
Never, never refuse an opportunity if it helps you advance towards a long-term goal. No matter how you feel in the moment ask yourself if the work is helping you get closer to the place you want to be. If it is then don’t you dare back out. Take the humiliation, take the long hours. Buckle down, do the work and get through it as fast as you can. That said, it is easy to be manipulated into cheap pay and crap internships when you are first starting out. Don’t fall victim to this! Constantly ask yourself: Is this worth it? Is this bringing me closer to where I want to be?
Hard-won lessons
When I got out of college I took a video editing internship. I didn’t even have much of an interest in video editing but it was the only company that responded to me, so I took the internship for zero pay. There were red flags everywhere. The lady who ran the organization expected a lot but offered no instruction or training. She told me what she wanted and that was it. It was up to me to learn about motion graphics design, editing, voiceover, script writing, and the like. The truth was that she had no training in video editing at all. She was an art dealer who was attempting a startup business and courted free work by manipulating recent graduates to come in and do all her content marketing and web design for her. Doing free or cheap work can sometimes be a great way to get started but that is only if it provides adequate training and connections. This lady offered no training, only increasingly difficult demands for better content. I jumped through hoops to please her. None of the free music or free video content was good enough so I invested in paid stock content. I wasn’t a good enough video editor or motion graphics artist so I paid for online classes to make up for it. Instead of making money, I spent hundreds of dollars to work for free.
If I had been honest with myself, I would have seen this. But I badly wanted the dream to be true. I badly wanted my hard work to be valued, and to be told that I was good at my job. I badly wanted the connections and the paid work that was hinted at but never promised.
It can be difficult to know when an opportunity is worth it. Do you work for free to gain experience? Do you take the toxic job to make a few extra bucks? It is up to you to decide. One of the best things to remember is to remain honest and flexible. Call yourself on your bullshit. If you are bogged down in the work, take a step back. Go on a long walk and have a talk with yourself. Ask yourself what your long-term goals are. Why did you take this job in the first place? Why did you sign up for this program? Be honest with yourself. Many times, the immediate responsibilities of the position can overshadow the ultimate goal you set out with. Stephen Hayes, in his excellent book, A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters writes that he has seen many graduate students forget why they went to school in the first place. They finish their degree and have no idea what to do next. The stress of graduate school overshadowed the initial passion that drove them to study psychology.
It can be a good idea to write down your long-term goals. I have them on a dry-erase board in my room. I am reminded every day of what I am shooting for and when my actions don’t line up with those long-term goals I cannot avoid thinking about it. They are there every morning waiting for me when I get up and like a lost puppy I must find my way back to them again and again.
Remember
Your emotions will take over in the moment. Fear keeps you focused on solving the immediate problems in front of you. Excitement clouds your purpose. Guilt keeps you from demanding respect or better pay. Expect these things to happen. We are all human and are all subject to difficult feelings. The ones who remember this and learn to combat it are the ones who go on to lives of meaning and riches.
